Friday 11 October 2019

Marlon gets hammered

Standing in the Duergar throne room, surrounded by oxymoronic giant dwarves, Marlon nervously twists the leather-bound handle of his magical war-hammer.
Although he’s only possessed it for a week or so, it feels comforting in his grasp
Empowering.
Their giant dwarven king is negotiating with Bastien and Marlon takes a moment to push the hair out of his eyes and scratch his itchy beard.
It seems bizarre how quickly his hair had been growing recently. He hadn’t mentioned it to the others, but it wasn’t just the hair on his head…
He was like some sort of furry beast beneath his armour!
The only explanation he could come up with was that he must’ve somehow been bitten by a Werewolf when no-one was looking.
“You there! What’s that in your hands?”
Marlon doesn’t immediately realise, that the gravel-voiced, giant dwarven advisor is addressing him but when he does, he grips his magical war-hammer tighter, pulling it close to his chest.
Aside from its magical properties, he loves it. It’s never let him down and it feels so balanced. Even when he threw it at the Dragon skull, it flew perfectly, as if destined to do so.
The young Volkon urges him forward though and Marlon obeys.
King Edrab examines the war-hammer in seemingly awed silence before finally speaking.
“This War-hammer is a dwarven weapon. It was forged by master dwarven craftsmen and belongs in dwarven lands and dwarven hands. It is a weapon fit for a king! I will allow you all safe passage from my kingdom in exchange for this sole gift.”
Marlon instinctively reaches for his war-hammer back but is blocked by two enormous dwarven guards.
The king’s advisor whispers something in his king's ear and Edrab’s stern expression softens slightly.
“As it is such a generous tribute, I will even bestow the supplicant my own powerfully enchanted war-hammer in return.”
Relieved to be getting out of there alive and without trading away their own magical loot, the Party thank the king and usher a dejected looking Marlon out through the huge door.

Marlon trades away his Dwarven thrower for a simple War-hammer +3

13 comments:

  1. Marlon is the true hero.
    Smashed the skull and made a selfless (and hairless) sacrifice.
    Good henchie, good henchie, whose a good henchie.

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  2. Brilliant! You made me laugh out loud!
    :D

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  3. It's a toss up as to who's my favourite - Marlon or Demitasse. Marlon stops me getting damaged and Demi fixes me.
    Serena however is just a toss up.

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  4. Marlon: Impressive
    Serena: Yet to impress
    Demitasse: Yet to be impressed

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  5. I think you're both being a bit unfair.
    Sure, Sereena can't take a hit or patch you up but she's still useful. Just in a more subtle way.
    Marlon's generally played by Scott and Demitasse by Assif. As Saereena is David's usual assistant, I wonder what his opinion is?

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  6. leave the girl alone, they are all creations of kirk. a faithful puppy who will do what ever you want. a loyal retainer who will heal on command and a willful teenager who speaks her mind.
    wonder where kirk got her from....
    i feel she is coming into her own a bit more with useful spells, would Volkon be in the digestive tract of an otyugh without the grease spell? well probably not, but she helped :-}

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  7. It's a love-hate thing.
    Or lust-loathe.
    :)

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  8. I've just remembered/realised that Sereena is just a year or two older than Volkon.
    All those insults were probably equivalent to schoolboys pulling the ponytails of the girls they liked!

    ;P

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  9. Maybe it is just the leather bikini and thigh high boots of seduction.
    Volkon just can't help himself.

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  10. I picture her dressed more like the genie: Jeanie, in the American sixties TV show: I dream of Jeanie, starring Larry Hagman and Barbara Eden.

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  11. Actually, now I consider it more carefully...
    (And not remotely influenced by my nerdy teenage years)
    I imagine her to look and dress, almost exactly like Caroline Munroe from the Golden voyage of Sinbad...

    https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=sfE4%2bX3a&id=E2378C9E9F6CCCA1C22B64625E57B2417390F263&thid=OIP.sfE4-X3a5zYRhnk7p37W-QHaF3&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fs-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2foriginals%2ff3%2f8d%2fdf%2ff38ddf25edda1d0101931a4a66110a95.jpg&exph=1200&expw=1514&q=sinbad+the+sailor+movie+Caroline+Munro&simid=608030238569791496&selectedIndex=2&ajaxhist=0

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  12. Demitasse as a young Armand Assante

    https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=hXnWQX6N&id=7BAC58A1F28B958B2F78997475C705FE01D5FFEF&thid=OIP.hXnWQX6NDRTi-6I9O6rW0AHaEM&mediaurl=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-VdpwSbrGPR4%2FVUY4pp_bFxI%2FAAAAAAAATH4%2Fa1PKhN-1yBk%2Fs1600%2FArmand%252BAssante%252BQ%252B%2526%252BA.PNG&exph=615&expw=1087&q=young+armand+assante+goatee&simid=608000414302145757&selectedindex=28&ajaxhist=0&vt=0&sim=11

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